God Within the Shadows

Dear friends and family, I am long overdue for a blog update. 

To say these past couple months have been crazy would be an understatement. 

November and December were hectic: from Covid lockdowns, a visa saga of epic proportions and traveling twice across the globe…it has been a wild adventure. Needless to say, praise be to God who carried me through in the highs and the lows. 

To be honest, there were times in these past months were I felt very discouraged and uncertain as to what the future might hold. In these times, I could have surrendered to the fears and doubts that plagued me. I could have so easily given up in my despair and missed the good things my Father had for me. 

Yet, through it all God was, still is, and always will be FAITHFUL. When complications arose with meet visa paperwork here in Austria, I was faced with a massive uncertainty. I would have to leave the country and I had no clue what I should do next. Yet in these moments of doubt I found myself surrounded by the most compassionate mentors and friends. These people offered a shoulder to lean on, built me up, and gave me guidance and godly counsel. Despite the stressful and incredibly inconvenient situation, I found strength in God and the confidence to put my hope fully in him.

In these difficulties, I was reminded of God’s truth though a song we played for worship: 

I will praise you on the mountain

And I will praise you when the mountain is in my way

You’re the summit where my feet are

So I will praise You in the valleys all the same

No less God within the shadows

No less faithful when the night leads me astray

‘Cause You’re the heaven where my heart is

In the highlands and the heartache all the same

Highlands, by Hillsong United

Spending so much time in the mountains these past months, I found this song very fitting for my current circumstances, as it compares the metaphor of a mountain and a valley to life. 

There were days during my time at Bible School where I found myself standing on a mountain (both literally and figuratively). These mountain-top moments were awe-inspiring experiences I thank God for. To a certain perspective, spending a year abroad in Austria seems like a mere highlight reel. I certainly wasn’t expecting many difficulties when I decided to take a gap year to come here. 

In addition to these mountain peaks, there were also days when I felt as if I was stranded in a valley (again, this also applies literally as we were stranded on campus during Austria’s three week Covid lockdown). Yet the deepest valley was definitely the visa process. It seemed as if there was always another paper to file and another document to complete (in German, to boot!). After all the time, effort, and money put into the process you can imagine my disappointment when the visa didn’t work out. I received a letter from the authorities saying I couldn’t stay, and had to leave Europe in less than 3 weeks. In light of my personal plans, I found myself in a great valley. 

David uses this same valley metaphor in Psalm 23: 

He leads me beside still waters, he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk thought The Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me. 

When I encounter valleys, it is easy to focus on the current moment overshadowing my life. It is so easy to forget the road that let me here. In Psalm 23, the very same path that leads through the darkest valley was the same path that led beside still waters. I have a Good Shepherd who leads me with such loving intention. 

Only when we take the time to look back, do we see God’s faithfulness. I can see these patterns of faithfulness throughout my whole life leading me up unto this point. In the summits, in the valleys, in the highlands and in the heartache, he was, is and always will be faithful. 

By his faithfulness, he lead me though the valleys and lowest points of my life. He also led me beside the still waters, some of the most enriching and life-giving seasons. It is his faithfulness that leads me to the place I am today. And I know, that he holds tomorrow in his hands. The same path that winds though the Valley of the Shadow will lead me back to still waters once again. 

Having crossed though The Valley I can look back and testify of God’s faithfulness firsthand. I had to fly back to the states, reapply for my visa in California, then returned home for Christmas. While it wasn’t the initial plan, being home for the holidays ended up being such a unexpected blessing. A few days before Christmas, I received my visa in the mail. I returned to Austria on January 3rd to start the next chapter of my year here; serving on staff at the Bible Center! Being on staff has been a new adventure with it’s own ups and downs, but I paise the Lord for his faithfulness in bringing me to this point, and I look forward to seeing how he continues to work in my life this coming year. 

Stay tuned for more updates in the coming weeks!

Keep looking unto Jesus,

Hannah